July 13th, 2008


A quandry...

I found a tree. A tree that staggers my mind with it's age. A tree, that while I was in the other day, made me feel like I had a place to go again...for when those tough questions come upon me...those things for which I can find no one who understands to talk with. Not only was my adrenaline pumping as I stood INSIDE the base of the tree (as it turns into 5-6 large individual trees), but then I climbed up into the lower branches. Nothing quite like Grandfather Oak, but none the less riviting and fulfilling. I've been looking for a tree like this. The canopy around it gently filters out all the light, while only three paths lead to the tree. It's sheer magnitude instantly halting the advance of anyone below...even if they have known this tree for years.

I climbed up into it's branches (not to sure of the identity of this one yet...but rest assured, i will be getting to know it much more in the future!) and felt the unending need to leave an offering...and while quickly scanning the contents of my bag, I found it. The chip of my blue acrylic contact juggling ball, which I had not removed from my bag. I spent enough time with that ball...caring for it, practicing with it...entertaining with it...it seemed the perfect offering, as it was something that meant a great deal to me. I dropped it inside of one of the branches, and found a small bit of moss to take home with me...to keep the tree near. It has found a place in the brass bowl that contains the chip of my red acrylic contact juggling ball...which I found was a perfectly suited place for it. S'where the blue chip was supposed to go after all. (not to mention again, that green is intruding on the blue yet again...-.-)

It is only another of the things that I've been searching for in this new place...new city...new culture. Something familiar...somehow, even if by proxy. This city is so stimulating...the places, the people. While I got stuck in New Orleans for so many years, because it has a higher concentration of real people than anywhere else i've been, albeit due to chronic honesty through never-ending libation...I am finding much more stimulation for my mind. Just in the past few months, i've met some of the most intelligent people that I've ever come across. People I don't have to reduce the level of my vocabulary to speak with. It's been called the most educated city in the country. So much to stir the pot...so many new and wonderful people I am meeting.

Many of these people, actually have a sense of something other than themselves as well...working towards goals which will better lives of countless people in the future, as well as several who will be serving their country...a respect that I hold highest of all...ESPECIALLY in these times...with such an aggressive administration.

It makes me sad to think that I should have been here sooner. I feel so behind the curve now...like i'm getting a late start to my life...even though i know i've lived more than most...especially because of the HIV.

made me wonder for a moment what may have been different in my life had I come here first.